We ended the night feeling blessed. We had been worried about the outcome of this conversation, of the process, having the right words, but everything had been there. We felt lighter, peaceful — right. Like truth had won that night.
It hadn’t been a huge revival, or an amazing service at church, it happened with just our little family, in just our little family room. We had a teachable moment, with two little boys ages 7 and 5, that lasted almost 30 minutes. It had been on our hearts to tell them that Saint Nicholas was a living man long ago, who did blessed, charitable things, but that it’s the symbol of him that lives on today. A heavy topic for little children, indeed.
The way we told them was to start with why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. Because of the gift of Jesus, who was sent here specifically to die, we celebrate His birth. Which meant we had to explain why He had to die, which meant we had to explain sin, which meant we had to explain how man came to sin in the first place. Which meant we eventually found ourselves at The Beginning, talking about creation and — can you see what a big undertaking this turned into?
I tell this story not to imply that all parents should do this — we felt led and convicted to have this conversation, because we had been having “Santa” leaving presents for the kids the last few years (a tradition I grew up with and simply continued, having never really thought about if it was a good idea or not), and the specific questions about Santa and his “magic” and all that he does — and is — had begun to make my husband and I uncomfortable. We avoided direct answers to our children’s questions, not wanting to lie, and it was clear it was time to have The Talk.
But we also felt as though we wanted to make sure they knew there was real “magic”, the Holy Spirit, and that amazing things, things that seem magical, really do happen. That there is Truth in Jesus and His promises and His history. We didn’t want them to someday say, “well Santa isn’t real, is Jesus really real?” We were given the prompting for this conversation, and then given that teachable moment, and it went amazingly well. The words flowed from our mouths in just the right way that our boys understood. We praised God so much that night, for yet another huge milestone in the faith journey of our family in shaping our beliefs and practices.
***
Ever since being urged to re-evaluate our Christmas traditions and make a Change, we’ve been so blessed, and yet so attacked. It feels like that Lion Who Prowls took extra notice of us once we became one less unconscious holiday shopper. Unending sicknesses sabotaging all the beautiful new traditions we had hoped to begin, unexpected financial stress creating strife among us, regression in my special needs kids tempting us to doubt, even a mysterious flat tire the morning after we had that amazing talk with our boys (making us miss church). And that’s just in the last three weeks.
Sometimes we keep thinking that it’s all a coincidence, or that it’s an extra special run of “bad luck”, but is it really? Remember it is said:
“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ”
- 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
And…
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”
- Ephesians 6:11-13
There is a battle going on, for our souls and hearts and minds. When we put on the Armor and take on the shield of faith, the belt of truth and the sword of the spirit, nothing can truly harm us. Mess up our schedules and our bodies (and often times much worse), yes, in this fallen world, but never harm our souls.
We can expect to be attacked, because God says we will. We see it as a sign we’re doing something right. Being on fire instead of lukewarm. Being a beacon of light that glows in spite of the darkness, instead of a dull ember, fading and unused, no life having been breathed into it in far too long.
As you finish out this last week before Christmas, there’s not only still time to make change, but still time to be attacked. Have no fear, and be bold! Resist the Evil One, and remember that your brothers and sisters around the world are going through the same thing. Christ came to die, be risen, wash clean, confirm, restore and establish YOU. Nothing and no one, in this world or the supernatural world, can take that away.
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Oh, what a beautiful, gracious, truth-filled way to handle The Talk. Our girls are so little and though we do the Santa thing, we are constantly and consciously playing that down while lifting up the name of Jesus. Thank you for sharing how you handled it – it provides much guidance for me.
I have to agree – since we decided to make a Change this year, I’ve felt bombarded with guilt and doubt and worry – “this isn’t enough” and “they are going to be disappointed” (when in reality my 4 year old was DELIGHTED with the Christmas pencil she got at her school party yesterday). I hadn’t given much thought to the warfare at play, but of course there is. The consumerism-driven model of Christmas is but a shoddy counterfeit of “blessings all mine and ten thousand beside.” Of course we will face resistance for teaching and displaying truth in our homes!
Beautiful, thought-provoking words here. Thank you again so much.
Arianne –
This is just so beautiful. Congrats to you and your husband for taking a stand and loving your kids enough to tell them the tougher stuff. My favorite part of this post is this:
Thank you for your great example and using your voice to spread the Good News.
“Being on fire instead of lukewarm. Being a beacon of light that glows in spite of the darkness, instead of a dull ember, fading and unused, no life having been breathed into it in far too long.”
How right you are! Be encouraged, God is good and will reward you, just possibly not here
Mary
My husband and I were convicted last year to reveal the ‘TRUTH’ to our children about Santa. We too have always focused on the importance of Jesus and all He has done for us. But, we felt led to do away with Santa. It has been such a blessing to see the children get excited when we talk about Jesus and share His love. They are excited that it’s HIS birthday we are celebrating. I will also say that it hasn’t been without opposition. We have had struggles in different areas since we have taken this stand. But, through prayer and God’s word, we will not be moved.
Bless you for sharing your story!
Such a great post, and so beautifully written- and something you can treasure in many years as you look back and remember. I’m so glad that God blessed that moment for your family. Love you!
Wow great post. We have always been upfront about santa with Mason, who is 5. My husband’s parents were huge into making the magic when he was growing up. When he was 6 and finally found out that it was all made up he was crushed. He recalls even today the feelings he had felt, how hurt, betrayed and lied to. He couldn’t believe the 2 most important people in his life, who were suppose to protect him, had lied to him. Pretty deep for a 6 year old. But it effected him enough that he vowed to never do the same. Not your usual reaction from a child I suppose. I was raised catholic and knew that since we weren’t going to make christmas about santa, that it was super improtant to me to make christmas about something more than just gifts. Mas and I have our own very dear converstaions about jesus, his hopes and dreams and all his did for us. What christmas really means, and that santa is only a symbol of it but the true meaning of it all lies in the beautiful story of jesus. He knows that some children believe in the magic of santa and fully understands the effects of telling them otherwise. He loves setting up his manger in his room and I love hearing him retell the story each year, each year it becomes more creative and meaningful, its a beautiful thing.
I love this – and needed to hear it today, and tomorrow, and every day until Christmas.
This post really hits home. I am evaluating small attacks too, some I’ve allowed, some beyond my control. And I think that as I evaluate return, perhaps there are others who would like me to just stay where I am. There are forces that would like me to be stagnant.
You have prepared my heart for worship this morning. Thank you.
Arianne, this is incredible.
Gives me much to think about.
Steph
Megan — thank you for the kind words, I know exactly what you mean. Even up to the moment of (in fact even DURING) that conversation with our kids I had fears and doubts. It feels so silly now! I think about my doubts and can only laugh that I even entertained those lies that had been so quietly but deliberately placed in my mind.
Nikki — What a sweet story, I love the idea of the boys having their own manger…they used to have one but I know now that I didn’t put enough emphasis on the meaning of it and it never became important or special to them (and the set was broken, eventually). Thanks for finding me here.
Seth — I’m finding as I winnow (or rather allow God to winnow) myself, that the more comfort I find in something the quicker I am to check and evaluate if that’s really the place I’m meant to be. It blesses me to encourage believers (and make them uncomfortable in the process, the good kind) and I pray to always have that fire under me, urging me on as well — even when it burns.
I’ve never been a big “Santa” parent. And Christmases at our house would never be featured in any holiday movie as an example of American commercialism at it’s best. We’re terrible consumers according to that model. (Thanks Be!)
I found myself doing the same thing you did — encouraging the wonder of the season the same way my parents did. Santa visited every year.
When our second son was eight, he asked me directly whether I believed in Santa. Distracted, I answered as I always had: “I believe there’s magic in the world and we need to pause sometimes to experience it.” He pushed though. Finally, I used my second stock response to their questions: “Why are you wondering?” (Trust me, that question has saved hundereds of hours of explaining way more than they needed to know about many, many topics.)
He pushed more. “Is there a jolly man in a red suit who brings presents to my house?” Of course there’s not.
He was crushed. He cried. He yelled at me.
“You LIED to me.”
“I never lied to you, Jakob.”
It lasted for hours — nay, days.
Finally, on a bright sunny Sunday in January on the way to Sunday service, my grieving son spat at me, “If you lied about Santa, how do I know you didn’t lie about heaven!”
Oh for the ability to hit REDO and start over with that one!
I’m glad you found a way, difficult as it may have felt in the moment, to give your babies a different story!
And. I never lied about Santa.
Awesome, Ari. Just awesome!!
Our family also took these steps when our son was three. It was led by our little one–his questions and seeking for Truth. He was standing at his bookcase holding a book filled over with Santa hoopla and he turned and asked. I answered. I apologized for the couple years of lying. He forgave. I grew. He gathered up any and every Santa item and tossed it in the garbage!
When we made public our decision a couple of years ago, we got attacked by some family (Christian) members for being too different. Hello! And this year, as we opt out of gift-giving, except to charities, we are being attacked in a spiritual battle. And my mom, the one who raised us with Santa, was the one who embraced our decision the most. She then apologized for lying to me as a kid and for not knowing how to change.
Now, having received the greatest gift ever given to mankind seven years ago, my husband, our son, me, and at least one grandma rejoice in His Babe and kneel low with humble hearts.
Your story shines His love and reaffirms our choices. Standing shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart, and soul to soul with you. Thank you…
Transparent, powerful writing…
Thank you, Arianne…. putting on the armor with you…